PROBLEM POLITICIANS

Class of 2018

Chris Collins

He puts the "Con Man" in Congressman

Chris Collins shouldn’t be in congress, he should be in prison. Born to wealth in Schenectady New York, Collins has run for office numerous times, financed by family money and connections. After over twenty years of trying he eventually won a seat as Erie County Executive in 2007 where he served before taking a congressional seat in 2013.

A shameless misogynist and somewhat more guarded anti-Semite, Collins has compared his political enemies unfavorably to Hitler and recommended that his female colleagues disburse sexual favors in order to receive more favorable treatment at state functions . . .

Jason Crow

Bag-man for the rich and powerful

Jason Crow spent his career protecting frackers, payday loan scammers, telemarketing extortionists, and well-connected executives who stole from their employees' pension funds. Then he tried to cover it all up.

Now he's pretending he’s on your side.

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A native of Madison Wisconsin, Jason Crow’s resume reads like a low-brow romance for DNC recruiters. He studied pre-law at the U. Wisconsin, joined the army, went to law school and then joined a law firm. Unfortunately, instead of spending his career to protecting vulnerable populations, Crow has sided against the poor, the marginalized, the defrauded and the environment again and again.

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Holland & Hart, the firm where Jason is a partner, has earned a reputation for protecting clients like the notorious Ponzi schemer Val Southwick and serial polluter and safety regulation violator Anadarko Petroleum -- a company responsible for killing numerous Coloradans in explosions . . . 

Greg Walden (R - OR)

When he’s not killing endangered birds, he’s killing the internet

Greg Walden can't seem to decide what he hates the most: owls and sage grouse, a free and open internet, or poor Americans with preexisting conditions.

Walden was born in The Dalles, Oregon, the son of Elizabeth (née McEwen) and Paul Ernest Walden. He earned a Bachelor of Science degree at the University of Oregon in 1981. Before being elected to Congress, Walden owned and ran radio stations, where he developed a set of corporate relationships that would ultimately serve him well. Throughout most of his political career, he continued to own radio stations, using them as a megaphone for his backward policy beliefs and a tool to subvert democracy. Then, Walden accepted $155,100 from telecom companies and has, little surprize, voted to destroy the internet as we know it so that those same telecoms could leach more money from American consumers.

Lisa Battista

Part-Time Vegan Full-Time Corporate Shill

Lisa grew up in Canton Ohio, a Midwestern town famous for William McKinley and violent crime. Lisa failed to distinguish herself in high-school wandering across the country as an itinerant clerk, restaurant server, and church pianist. Eventually she graduated from The University of San Francisco at 35. By then, Lisa has become well networked with a number of regional law firms and, seeing a market for her skills to help protect the powerful, she attended law school at the University of California Hastings and graduated in 2007.